“So, how do you take care of yourself?”
This is a question I ask my clients often, but one that is never well understood.
We all require some form of self-care. This is particularly important for those in the helping-profession or those who have a tendency to care deeply for others. Many of us are quick to put others needs ahead of our own. When we don’t engage in intentional self-care, we become restless with others, we become irritable, we run the risk of burnout and we aren’t living our authentic life.
Self-care is more important now than ever and it is more difficult to engage in self-care now than ever before. We can’t access a lot of the ‘things’ that made us feel like ourselves. Perhaps you enjoyed pottery classes? or attending comedy shows? or perhaps just going to a meet-up with close and important others? These self-care activities make us feel more like ourselves, they take us out of our busy mind and into the present moment. It’s difficulty to do these self-care activities, and it’s particularly difficult to do them guilt-free.
Self-care is what connects us with our true essence, our core self.
Self-care is much more than checking a box (although, it feels good to accomplish things!). There are few things to keep in mind so you can truly achieve the benefits of self-care.
- Self-care is intentional. To benefit from self-care it needs to be deliberate and appreciated. We are deserving of taking care of ourselves, and by making it intentional we are realizing we are worthy of being cared for.
- Self-care is important. We ourselves are important. When you engage in self-care you know what optimal health looks like and feels like. When you don’t engage in self-care, you soon realize you don’t feel like yourself. Ask yourself, what activities make you feel like you? Perhaps that is going for a walk in nature, drawing, or having deep conversation with loved ones. What activities don’t feel like work-work, but instead feel a part of you.
- Self-care is unique to you. It is dependent on what your needs are and what makes you feel good. It’s about you! And no, it is not self-ish, it is self-full! There are many shared self-care practices, like going to yoga or going for a walk, but we all uniquely experience these practices and benefit from them in different ways. For example, perhaps it is the collective energy from going to an in-person power yoga class, or perhaps it is the slow, mindful awareness created from a soft, yin yoga class.
I like to categorize self-care into two types, ritual self-care and in-the-moment self-care. Both important and both serve the self, however, they serve the self at different times and in different ways.
- Ritual Self-care: “What makes me feel like ‘me’ each day?” Ritual self-care are the daily activities you engage in that make you feel whole. Perhaps you feel good and productive if you jump on the exercise bike every morning or enjoy your ritual cup of coffee/tea while reading a book or watching the sports highlight reel. These are daily activities that help you connect with yourself, and create a sense of familiarity and ease.
- In-the-moment Self-care: “What do I need right now?” This type of self-care relates to those moment where you feel unbalanced. Feelings of stress, fatigue, vulnerability are all reminders we must listen and take care of ourselves ? Responding to these inner experiences with care is proactive. It will help move you towards balance or provide clarity as to what is contributing to your imbalances.
How do I take care of myself?
Ritual Self-Care
- Going for a walk (almost) every day, usually with a dog in tow (well more like I’m in tow…). I fell in love with daily walks during the covid-19 pandemic. Pre-/post- work walks provided me the important separation I needed from my work and quickly became a part of my self-care. I note a shift in me on those days I take a walk versus don’t take a walk.
- Enjoying, mindfully, my cup of morning decaf coffee or tea.
- Take mindful moments throughout the day.
In-the-moment Self-Care
- Dining-in after a vulnerable day.
- Treating myself to dark chocolate bar or other tasty sweet.
- Taking an extra-long walk to clear my head.
- Watching a TV or Movie that I feel I need in the moment.
I’ll leave you with one important, life-giving question, “how do you take care of yourself?” Remember, you are important to you and the people are you.
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
Buddha
Could your workforce benefit from learning about self-care? I offer presentations to organizations to equip their workforce with skills and ideas to manage their personal well-being. I present on important universal well-being themes such as the importance of self-care, the (em)power of validation, and effective, empowering & empathetic communication for managers. Contact me if interested!
